Through the Eyes of a Musician

Found this half finished post from a few years ago.  Figured I might as well release it for the world to see.

Recently (aka three years ago), I was at a concert for a friend (a concert for Meiko… who has this awkward, sarcastic and altogether endearing stage presence).  It was a small venue, and as seems to be the case in small venues, Meiko told stories about what inspired her songs.  It got me thinking, musicians flavor their music with their lives, and every time they perform that song they are probably reliving that moment in their lives- the happiness, the sadness, the pain, the joy.

Using this as a reference in my head, I wondered, “I wonder what inspired some other songs.”  For example, Bob Marley’s “I shot the Sheriff” was inspired by relationship battles over birth control or that Sixpence None the Richer’s song “There She Goes” is about heroin (not making these things up).  There goes the innocence of my childhood captured by the movie Snowday.

Side note – if you want to stop reading now and relive the beautiful moments created by Sixpence None the Richer, feel free to leave the blog now and check out this great scene from “She’s All That.” I had no idea that girl could be so beautiful when I started watching the movie. Talk about a plot twist!

If you are refraining from jumping back into 90s nostalgia at least for the moment, then let’s get back on with the post as though this side bar never happened…

Then there is always the fact that the song You are my Sunshine was actually about a horse; although don’t tell that to this couple that has their own story behind the song (I should warn you if you have a tendency to cry, you may need tissue before that video).

With so many great stories behind so many memorable songs, I wondered what the stories were behind some other memorable song titles.  A thorough Google search might have found the true story behind each of these songs… but I decided to make one up instead.  Enjoy.

Don’t Eat Stuff off the Sidewalk” by the Cramps.

The lead singer for the Cramps was on his way to a date with a girl that had been his pen pal for over six years.  On the way to the date, he had everything ready… flowers, hair combed, even showered and wore clothes.  However, outside her place, he realized he forgot to brush his teeth and had eaten onion cereal for breakfast that morning.  Luckily he saw some mint gum on the sidewalk.  The sequel to this song was their hit “The Strangeness in Me.”

Dancing on the Ceiling” by Lionel Richie.

Before there was The Simple Life, there was Nicole’s father Lionel… you  might remember him as the Richie with talent, although Nicole has made a name for herself.  The story behind this song is that Lionel was a huge fan of the movie The Poseidon Adventure about a bunch of people that are in a cruise ship that gets turned over by a giant wave.  When the boat tips over, a lot of people are having a party and Lionel always thought it would be better to change the movie from a disaster movie to a movie about people dancing on the ceiling.  The 2005 and 2006 remakes should have taken the same hint.  (Side note: Skip the 2005 and 2006 remakes (yes, that is not a typo and worthy of a double parenthesis. They remade this movie two years in a row).  I once heard a story that the makers of the 2006 version didn’t want you to connect to the characters… they wanted to spend more time their time putting these relative unknown people through hell… what’s the point of watching complete strangers go through dangerous situations?)

Put Your Big Toe In The Milk Of Human Kindness” – Elvis Costello

Do you know the story of why a wedding ring gets put on the ring finger? Long before the ring finger was called the ring finger, people believed that a vein ran directly from the end of that finger to your heart.  Why they didn’t pick say the middle finger which seems to be a more direct shot to the heart, I may never know.  Well, even if you did know that ring finger fact, you probably didn’t know that the Ancient Greeks believed the big toe was a direct line to your foot.


You’re the Reason Our Kids are so Ugly” by Loretta Lynn.

Marriage can be beautiful. Marriage can be ugly. This story finds its foundation rooted in as much tragedy as it does love. Loretta worked at a Costco. Over time, she grew to appreciate the man she worked with on a daily basis, the food center’s manager named Jiggy. He would give her an extra inch of the Costco frozen yogurt. Even though it never sat well in Loretta’s stomach, she also appreciated the thought.  Finally, one day, he asked her if she wanted sprinkles on her frozen yogurt. She had originally been considering a slice of pizza, but the prospect of sprinkles (never having heard it as an option) alit her interest. So she agreed to the upgrade. Jiggy had a surprise in store though for Costco did not offer sprinkles (although they really should consider it). The sprinkles were in fact a ring! Loretta said yes, and they entered marital bliss.  After six years of marriage, they had their first child.  The child’s name was Chester.  Their second child’s name was Maria.  Even though two children were more than enough, Loretta got pregnant again… with twins.  Unfortunately, four kids was too many mouths to feed even with employment to Costco, and Jiggy and Loretta struggled to support their oversized family.  So, one day, Jiggy decided to give his kids a haircut instead of taking them to the local barbershop to save money.  Unfortunately, the clippers broke mid cut, and the rest is catchy jukebox history.

I’ve been Flushed from the Bathroom of your Heart” by Johnny Cash

Every town has its ideal spots… ideal spots for making out, for flying a kite, for buying pants, and for breaking up.  Growing up, the Dairy Queen parking lot was a prime break up location in my town.  French fries and ice cream to go.  Non committal and delicious.  In his time, Johnny Cash was known as a lady’s man; however, sometimes a woman would overstay her welcome.  The break up location in his town happened to be Bob’s Authentic Cantina.  Great queso.  Not so great for your tummy.

The Mystical Potato Head Groove Thing” – Joe Satriani

This song has zero words, so I can only assume it was based off of this scene from Toy Story.


If you didn’t like this post at all, blame me 2 years ago when I wrote it.  As compensation, watch this video of this white kid dropping a sick beat (per the title).

Sentences that should not begin with “Yay”

  1. Yay, I have dysteria.
  2. Yay, the milks gone sour.
  3. Yay, I forgot to DVR Greys Anatomy.
  4. Yay, my brother just eloped with my girlfriend.
  5. Yay. that rhinoceros just damaged my car.
  6. Yay, I put someone else’s name on my perfect score ACT test.
  7. Yay, I burnt the pizza.
  8. Yay, I missed.
  9. Yay, my pants ripped.
  10. Yay, the leprechaun escaped.
  11. Yay, I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.
  12. Yay, I left a no hitter in the first inning.
  13. Yay, I ate a salad.
  14. Yay, I ate two salads.
  15. Yay, I get to get more shots.
  16. Yay, this bedroom is covered in pictures of Edward Cullen.
  17. Yay, I get to work on Christmas.
  18. Yay, my flight was delayed two more hours.
  19. Yay, more bills.
  20. Yay, the global economy has taken another turn for the worst based upon risky investment practices.
  21. Yay, I slipped on the ice.
  22. Yay, someone stole my hubcaps.
  23. Yay, we get to watch the Notebook again tonight.
  24. Yay, my socks are wet.
  25. Yay, traffic on my commute.
  26. Yay, my hard drive just corrupted.
  27. Yay, my stalker ex girlfriend just escaped prison.
  28. Yay, my oxen just died on Oregon Trails.
  29. Yay, I get to go to the dentist and they are out of stickers.
  30. Yay, pretty sure I just accidentally joined a cult.
  31. Yay, someone ate my leftover Stromboli.
  32. Yay, another term paper.
  33. Yay, I’m allergic to cheese.
  34. Yay, a bee sting.
  35. Yay, another chain email that makes me fall asleep looking over my shoulder to see if a mutant clown is going to hunt me down since I didn’t forward the email out to 14 of my friends.
  36. Yay, my sink is overflowing.
  37. Yay, I stubbed my toe.
  38. Yay, someone drew on my face.
  39. Yay, I’m out of toilet paper.
  40. Yay, there is a line for the bathroom.
  41. Yay, this restaurant only serves Vio.
  42. Yay, Joan Cusack is in this.
  43. Yay, they are splitting the last chapter of Twilight into three more feature length films… in 3D.
  44. Yay, they wrote this note in glitter.
  45. Yay, they used salt instead of sugar.
  46. Yay, bear tracks.
  47. Yay, this house doesn’t have any secret passageways.
  48. Yay, laser tag is banned in this state.
  49. Yay, they are having a two for one special on plungers.
  50. Yay, it’s the first Monday of the year.

Can I Get an Exclamation?

Today I made a disastrous error, one that will indefinitely shape the rest of my life. In high school, I had an English teacher that shaped much of what I know about writing and even grammar.  In fact, I would say my style of writing was almost entirely shaped by his discussion on “prepositional phrases,” phrases that is a phrase consisting of a preposition, its object, which is usually a noun or a pronoun, and any modifiers of the object. As well as my disgust for the semi colon… ::insert disgust here::  In one of his many discussions he made an exclamation about exclamation marks.

He had begun his lesson simply enough. A period is the punctuation put at the end of a statement.  In fact, almost every sentence you will right in your life will end in a period. Got it. The period is the 99%. Too soon for a political joke?

A question mark does what? Why it marks a question. Well, now that is just a handy thing to know too. And then came the exclamation mark.

Teacher: “The exclamation mark is the most dramatic punctuation mark you can use. It should only be used in extremely limited circumstances when a simple period cannot express the amount of excitement the statement conveys. In fact, the exclamation mark should be used so rarely you should only use three of them your entire life.”

Today I made a disastrous error, one that will indefinitely shape the rest of my life.  Today I used two of my exclamation marks…

I know right! You are probably perplexed and shocked right now but when the initial denial wears off the only question left is how did I use both in just one short day.  It was not in a worthy statement such as Paul Revere’s “the British are coming [exclamation]”  Although I am fairly certain he said that more than thrice that night and hope he chose the exclamations more wisely than I. I used 2 of my 3 exclamations in a simple email.  “Thanks for your help [exclamation] [exclamation] Have a happy Thanksgiving.” Before I could stop myself the sent button was hit and I had lost 2 of my 3 exclamation marks.  To make matters worse, I used them both on the same irrelevant sentence.  I had not even used them on Thanksgiving but the much lesser sentence before.

Just as Batman knew his cause, I vowed then to only use my last exclamation mark for a worthy sentence.  I decided that I should figure out the phrases that I would be satisfied in using my final exclamation mark with and have narrowed them down to the following is the list I have narrowed it down to:

It’s a boy!

It’s a girl!

It’s a non-gender specific child and we still love you!

I’d like to buy a vowel!


I am going to Disney World!

I object!

AHHH (while in a tunnel)!

Someone save that cat (cat can be replaced with any other adorable animal except for monkeys. Except for monkeys)!





I don’t want your money!

The sky is falling!

Look in the sky!

This song is my jam!

I just want to dance!

There is a snake in my boots!

How about dem Bears!

Adult swim!

Move that bus!

No wire hangers!

Leggo my Eggo!

I said no ketchup on my hotdog!


For freedom!

Open the gate!

Is that a fanny pack!

Justin Bieber!

That PB and J sandwich was awesome!

Those are my thoughts but what about you.  If you only had one exclamation mark left, what would statement would you come up with to use it on?

A Manly Debate: Grease vs Grease 2

Disclaimer:  Despite the title of this post, I have never watched Grease 1 or 2 or even shows like Glee, I actually spend all my time doing manly things like wilderness hunting, building 4 bed/2.5 bathroom houses for under privileged kids, and bench pressing or curling.

Musicals are the quintessential combination of theater, music, and the American dream.  Shows like Smash and Glee on TV are constantly seeking to recapture the allure of the bright lights on the screen with varied success.  These shows idolization of the musical arts is not anything new.  TV Shows like the Partridge Family and even Saved by the Bell have always had musical elements.  Not to mention the number of performances that have been forever etched (and later digitally redesigned once etching was out of style) on the silver screen.

While many people have never heard of incredible shows such as In the Heights that have not yet made their way to a theater near you, one of the most highly recognized and commonly replicated of these music filled stories turned movie turned Broadway and local high school sensation again is the world-wide known Grease.  Whether you have seen the movie, bought tickets to a show, put product in your hair, or made fun of your all too wholesome friend at a sleepover, there is one debate that a simple rendition of “You’re the One that I Want” simply cannot sing away…. Oo- oo- oo.

Grease 1 vs Grease 2.  Just like Pepsi vs Coke everyone has a preference even if they will choke down a couple sips of the lesser version.  If you have never seen one or both movies and have made the wrong choice as to the best previously, here is your quick guide.  Aside from the glaringly obvious differences like Grease 2 having a better story and dreamier actors (Sorry John… not much love from me especially since Max Caldwell defended our nation by winning the battle of Little Round Top in Gettysburg), here are four less obvious reasons why Grease 2 is far superior than its older sibling, the original.

1.  A better soundtrack

Sure, Grease has “Grease Lightning” and “Summer Loving,” and if I needed music to listen to while taking a nap in the library instead of studying, you know exactly which videos I would cue up as I closed my eyes.  Grease 2 has unforgettable hits like “Who’s That Guy” and reminds us of a time when gas was less than a dollar a gallon with “Prowlin’.”   With a song like “Rock-A-Hula-Luau“, how have you not added this soundtrack to your Christmas list yet?

2.  Everything is better when made in the 80s.

Grease was released in 1978 and Grease 2 was released in 1982.  The 80s created the rise of John Cusack, Don’t Stop Believing, and even its own tribute TV show “I love the 80s.”  From the Brat Pack to the birth of Urkel, the 80s knew what it meant to be inspiring, creative, and everlasting well beyond its decade.  While Grease was a fine show, it was made in the 70s. Even though the 70s had ABBA, Grease was born with a predisposition to not be tall enough to play basketball and that is hard to overcome.  Anything born in the 80s is clearly destined to be a hit.  You can quote me on that. –The Messy Chef (1987-present)

3.  Equality

“Oh no he didn’t.”  Yes, yes, I did.  In Grease, Sandra Dee gets the guy by wearing leather pants and dancing with her hips.  Gross.  This movie takes the equality movement right back to the 60s!  Grease 2 despite being set just a few years later is infinitely more progressive.  In Grease 2, Michael gets close to Stephanie not only by riding motorcycles but by tutoring her.  Helping her to educate herself and better herself as a person to achieve her personal dreams.  KudosGrease 2, kudos.

4.  “Cool Rider” vs “Grease Lightning”

Yes, I know that soundtrack already counted as number one, but the song Cool Rider is on another level, a song that when heard just once will forever change the way that you view motorcycles and taking the initiative to go get what you want.  While Grease was a fun story about two kids (NSFW) that fell for each other one summer, broke up, and then decided at the start of the next summer that they should go out again.  Grease 2 is the story of a guy that is good at who he is but realizes that in order to achieve his dreams he must work hard to push himself further.  His motivation is a girl but in wooing that girl, he teaches himself to not only ride a motorcycle but also to rebuild one all while rocking a smooth leather jacket.  Score.  While Grease has that great old American love story, Grease 2 does not lose any aspects of the love story but seeks to capture the entire and real American Dream, perseverance and rebirth.  Besides, motorcycle races are so much more exciting than car races.

Now that I have clearly proven while Grease 2 is better for that next time a stranger challenges you on this topic in an elevator, I am off to eat some raw meat and whittle myself a rocking chair out of a tree I cut down myself.  Do not worry though.  I planted two trees in its place while taking care of the rest of this year’s crop.  Nothing more manly than caring about Mother Nature.   Feel free to continue the debate in comments below; come on “Do It For Our Country!”

Dear Messy Chef… (An Election Recap)

With the election nearly a week past, I think it is important that we as a nation contemplate on where we were on that most fateful night where the most important candidate was selected to take care of a difficult task (Stephanie Kapsis, school board elections.  Thrilling race.  Remember if you did not vote you cannot complain.)  Fortunately for everyone, I live blogged my election night evening.  It is very detailed.  Please enjoy:

7:35 PM Order a pizza
8:05 PM Eat said pizza
8:15 PM Romney wins a state
8: 16 PM Romney wins a state
8:17 PM Romney wins a state
8:50 PM Obama wins a state
9:06 PM Obama wins a state
9:45 PM Mass confusion on math.  Addition is complicated.  1+1= inconclusive so far
10:01 PM Obama wins election
10:02 PM Florida once again pulls a Marcia Brady
Five days later: Obama still wins election

Through the election season, many of the candidates spoke of personal stories.  “I spoke with a hardware store owner in Mississippi…” “After speaking with a single mother of 8, I learned…” “After telling my 26 year old cashier that I would like the paper bags…”  I think in honoring this vein I would like to relay one simple story of a letter that I received in the mail concerning the election.

“Dear Messy Chef…” the letter began. Dated October 31, 2012.  Simple enough.  Friendly, polite, and written in an enjoyable font.  I am betting it was Calibri, size 12.  If the Cowboys are America’s team, Calibri may be America’s font.  In fact, Calibri overtook Times New Roman as the standard font in Microsoft Word in 2007.

Who you vote for is secret.”  A common sentence but the words were on bold.  It was an important statement that they were trying to make.  “But whether you vote is public record.  The records show that you did not vote in 2008!”

Hold up a minute.  I definitely voted in 2008.  Submitted an absentee ballot and mailed it away with pride.  However, I had moved states so maybe they were looking at a different Messy Chef.  I know from walking through people’s kitchens that there are plenty of Messy Chefs.  In any event, I knew that I had planned to vote for this year and continued to read the letter.

“This election is important, and who shows up to vote will decide who represents us in Washington.”  I should have stopped reading at this point.  The word “us” clung to me and I reread the sentence.  Reread it with me now, “This election is important, and who shows up to vote will decide who represents US in Washington.”  What on earth did that mean?

“Below is a chart that shows Asian Americans’ voter turnout in 2008.”


Only 47% voted in the 2008 Election.  Please remember to vote on November 6, 2012 so that we can improve that percentage of the vote.”

Startling numbers
Startling numbers

While this is an important message and I do hope that WE improved our percentage of Asian voters, I am not sure my vote on Election Tuesday helped change those percentages in any way seeing as I am not Asian, although I do enjoy mochi as much as the next person.  Who can argue with that kind of deliciousness in such the perfect amount of porton?!

Check out the Bling
Rock the Vote bling

“We will be calling some of you after this election so we can thank you for voting.” My phone is fully charged waiting for that conversation. “Let’s hope the public record shows that you were a voter in 2012!”  It should.  I hope it also shows that I am not Asian otherwise my parents have a lot of explaining to do.

Hope you all voted in the election.  No matter whether your candidate won or did not win, we still got a game to go out and play and winning has never been more important. U- S- A! U- S- A! U- S- A! Hmmm… that chant always seemed more momentous when shouted by a stadium full of people than it does typed at the end of an obscure blog… U- S- A!

The notorious letter
The actual letter received!

Knock, Knock

Knock, knock! 

(This is the part where you say who is there)

Who’s there? (Well done)


Boo who?

Don’t cry, it’s only a joke!


Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Howl who?

Howl you know unless you open the door?


Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

The Messy Chef

The Messy Chef who you may ask?  And then because most people like to ramble on, at least I do, you may go on to say that you had heard your parents speak of a Messy Chef once that dared to celebrate only our nation’s greatest holidays for one month inspiring uncounted millions  (literally no one counted, I just assume that the Messy Chef inspired at least that many people) but then suddenly, without warning, stopped writing to not be heard from for months.  Some claimed he died.  Others claimed he had fallen deeply in love with someone who had graphophobia (the fear of writing) and in order to be with his true love he had vowed to never write another word ever.  There were others still that believed he was not gone at all but just waiting for the right moment to begin to do again the one thing he is probably best at including lighting snow men on fire, learning random phrases in sign language, and rambling about non sense in the hopes that someone out there may laugh on a metro ride in to work one morning all while getting looked at strangely by the people around them because well that random person laughing on the metro.  Yes, I am talking about you.  The Messy Chef who you may ask?

Aren’t you glad I didn’t say banana!… wait, that is not how that one is supposed to end…


Anyways, new posts next week!

Why Geeks Get Girls

I was speaking with someone the other day, and I made the assertion that nerds are destined to end up with the popular girls from high school.  Immediately after making the claim, I was challenged to prove it.  The criteria for this challenge was simple.

1) I had to show evidence that proved my statement

2) It had to be real evidence and not random things I found on the internet proving my point which would have been easy since there are countless upon countless upon countless sources of why geeks/nerds are on the rise and should get the girls. (And also some downsides to being so intelligent)

Sure there are countless non scientific reasons for why a nerd or geek (I use them interchangeably although there are clear differences) will end up with the best girls.  For instance, a geek is comfortable with who they are and that confidence is appealing or a nerd has vast ranging interests which are always interesting to learn about.  Nerds are really pretty adorable/attractive if you think about it.  But this article will only focus on the scientific. Without further delay, here is  scientifically why geeks stand the best chance to end up with the girls they have no chance with.  Enjoy.

Growing up, every person heard a very common phrase, “Boys don’t make passes at girls that wear glasses.”  In all reality from birth through high school to the senior citizen home, men do not base their choice in women on the need for assistance in seeing clearly.  In fact, many men buy women alcohol in the hopes that their vision will become greater impaired thus improving the man’s chances of her finding him attractive.  The correct phrase should have been, “Girls don’t make passes at boys that wear glasses.”  Nerds and geeks have always struggled to gain the attention of attractive, popular, and appealing women throughout history.  This struggle has been well documented in media as well as in the day to day examples to which any person can attest.  While the math geeks and Star Wars freaks may struggle to lure the attention of the beauty queens through the formative years, this effort changes drastically in today’s society as women have begun to see the qualities sought after in a mate in the nerds.  While the football stars and baseball short stops may have the upper hand in achieving the best girls up until the early 20s, it is the nerds that win the popular girl in the end.

In high school, some students are “often portrayed as awkward, intelligent, shy, unattractive social outcasts with unfashionable hair and dress styles… They are called ‘nerds,’ ‘dweebs,’ ‘dorks,’ ‘geeks,’ ‘brainiacs,’ and ‘computer jocks’” (Kinney 1993).  These portrayals not only shape the self image of those people that are labeled under these categories but the global perception of them.  Since none of these characteristics are considered desirable in a teenager’s world, many girls have a hard time giving a nerd the time of day unless unavoidable circumstances force them to need the assistance of a nerd.  For instance, a pretty girl may have a math test coming up and she needs assistance studying the multiplication tables.  This is an instance that a nerd would be able to assist her.  Beyond the scope of the assignment though, the nerd does not have a chance with the girl as she is more interested in the allure of the extremely popular, charismatic, independently wealthy student athlete.  While the athletes with their defined jaw lines and winning smiles initially steal the hearts of girls and receive a yes to be their date to the prom, it is the nerd’s that follow the principle of the tortoise by moving slower to the finish line but by being the first to get the yes when down on one knee.

Women look for a number of things in a potential mate.  Peggy La Cerra outlines in her article Why Relationships Are So Difficult that “intense selection pressures honed the neural mechanisms that gave rise to our mating psychology” (La Cerra, 2011).  This is very much like the principles of Darwin.  Because the primary instinct of a species is its own survival, girls have been taught through natural selection the traits needed in a mate to give their off spring the best chance at survival (Darwin, 1936).  Since a woman has high stakes in choosing the correct man, she must select one that has high status, good earning potential, and physical prowess while being emotionally faithful and committed (La Cerra, 2011).

Physical prowess is the least important thing that a girl is looking for in the modern world.  Initially, a strong man was needed to hunt food or to fight off other attacking tribes.  Since today’s man is expected to just be able to pick out the milk at the grocery store with the best expiration date, the need for someone that can hunt and kill is greatly decreased.  Plus while the jocks may have had the nerds beat in terms of lifting or throwing distance or even jump height while young, the athlete’s body’s start to fall apart as they age in to their 30’s.  In 2004, the National Basketball Association reported that the average player age was 27.028 years.  This is because as an athlete’s body ages they are no longer able to do the same incredible feats they could do in their youth. Their body deteriorates with age quicker than a less active person’s body from all of the additional use (Pollock, 1987).  The U.S. Census Bureau reported that the average age for an adult male to be married in 2005 was 27.1 years old with that number steadily increasing consistently since 1960.  Since geeks can now take Zumba classes, run on the tread mill while surfing the web, and partner with personal trainers at every corner fitness establishment, geeks start to catch up to the jocks in their late 20s in terms of physical prowess.

Physical prowess today is being replaced by mental capabilities.  Someone that can think on their feet is almost more valuable than someone that can throw a homemade spear at a boar for dinner.  Since intelligence is now becoming more valuable than abs, studies have shown that girls are leaning towards using IQ as criteria to look for in a guy.  Jason Keagy, a behavioral ecologist at the University of Maryland in College Park, found that, “Males that are better problem-solvers are mating with more females” (Callaway 2009).  Studies were done at Elon University showing women videos of intelligent men versus athletic men.  The women were then asked to describe which men seemed most intelligent.  They were unable to find a clear distinction between the intelligent men and the athletic men.  However when asked which men they found the most attractive, they found the intelligent men the most attractive.  Similar experiments have been conducted using birds leading to the theory that women desire men with intelligence over men with physical prowess.  One of the possible reasons for this is that men with intelligence must have healthy brains and thus are desirable (Callaway 2009).

In today’s society, earning potential and high status can go hand in hand.  While it is possible to achieve high status through other means than earning potential such as being a great athlete, writing an award winning novel, doing something ridiculous on Youtube, or being a Kardashian, the ability to make money is still considered one of the quickest ways to have a high status.  In the novel the Great Gatsby, Gatsby shot to the tops of the socialite lists because of all of his new money.  Nerds have been on to this concept for years.  Movies like Can’t Buy Me Love have portrayed young Nick Cannons and Patrick Dempseys using money to strike a deal with the girl of their dreams who then helps them shoot to the top of the status rankings.  Spoiler alert: it should probably also be mentioned that these nerds also end up with the girl at the end of the movies.  Some athletes to hit the jack pot and make lots of money in professional sports, but as the NCAA boasts every March, many of its athletes go pro in something other than sports.  However once they go pro in something other than sports, it is the nerds that had already been training to go pro in these other areas and are the best primed to shoot to the top of the earning spectrum.  Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg did not make their millions of dollars by hanging out with the cheerleaders on the team bus to the state championship.  Since a nerd is typically better suited to earning money in today’s society because they are accustomed to hard, knowledge based work, they are an optimal pick for providing for a family.

The final aspects that a woman looks for in a man are someone who is emotionally faithful and committed.  Let us all be honest for a minute as who is more committed than someone who is willing to argue for hours about the problems with the original Spiderman movies giving Peter Parker the natural ability to create web instead of having to develop a machine to shoot web for him.  Did they not read or follow the original story at all?  (Peter Parker ended up with Mary Jane too, by the way)  Since nerds have spent much of their whole lives hoping to get a chance with the Amanda Jones (Some Kind of Wonderful) in this world, they are more willing to listen to a girl and be there for her when things get rough.  A nerd is not just looking for a one night hook up even if studies do show that intelligent people find more happiness in physical attraction and sex (Blanchflower, 2004).  A nerd is willing to be there for a person for the long run, just as most fans stuck with Friday Night Lights through that awful third season.  Since they were ostracized in the formative years, they have learned to value the meaningful relationships that are in their lives and are willing to demonstrate that behavior to the head cheerleaders of the world.  Sure, girls like bad boys in their youth, but as they get older, they are looking for that emotional security that can only be found in a nerd.

While there are surely plenty of examples for the opposing sides to this argument, it is clear that nerds and geeks are just as likely to end up with the head cheerleaders and school presidents as the physically fit jocks in the long run.  Mark Prokosch of Elon University found that, “women want the best of both worlds.  Not only a physically attractive man, but somebody in the long term who can provide for them” (Callaway, 2009).  The movie Revenge of the Nerds may have been one of the first cinematic representations of a nerd winning the heart of the beautiful and sweepingly adored popular girl, but more and more representations can be seen on TV (The Big Bang Theory) and in our everyday lives.  Nerds provide that perfect combination of adorable, attractive, and intelligence that makes them a sure fire favorite to win the heart of any girl from their mid twenties onward.  Besides what girl would not want a guy (a geek or a nerd) that when given any chance at all is comfortable enough with who they are to step up to the plate and is unafraid of looking like a fool with even just the slightest hope of a chance with her, their very own Lloyd Dobler standing outside their window holding a boom box over his head.  Just think.  If you were Diane Court, would you honestly fall for Lloyd?  The correct answer is yea.

*** If you have never seen Say Anything, click here for the full feature film.***

 Work Cited

Blanchflower, David G., and Andrew J. Oswald. “Money, Sex and Happiness: An Empirical Study.” Scandinavian Journal of Economics 106.3 (2004): 393-415. Print.

Callaway, Ewen. “Why Geeks Get the Girls.” New Scientist. 19 Aug. 2009. Web. 30 Mar. 2012. <;.

Darwin, Charles. The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection: Or the Preservation of Favored Races in the Struggle for Life[,] and The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex. New York: Modern Library, 1936. Print.

Kinney, David A. “From Nerds to Normals: The Recovery of Identity among Adolescents from Middle School to High School.” Sociology of Education 66.1 (1993): 21-40. Print.

La Cerra, Peggy. “Why Relationships Are So Difficult” The Free Library 01 July 2011. 29 March 2012 < Relationships Are So Difficult.-a0266781012>.

Pollock, M. L. “Effect of Age and Training on Aerobic Capacity and Body Composition of Master Athletes.” Journal of Applied Physiology 62.2 (1987): 725-31. Print.

US CENSUS BUREAU. “Marrying Age in the United States.” Www.npr/org. Web. 29 Mar. 2012.