Can I Get an Exclamation?

Today I made a disastrous error, one that will indefinitely shape the rest of my life. In high school, I had an English teacher that shaped much of what I know about writing and even grammar.  In fact, I would say my style of writing was almost entirely shaped by his discussion on “prepositional phrases,” phrases that is a phrase consisting of a preposition, its object, which is usually a noun or a pronoun, and any modifiers of the object. As well as my disgust for the semi colon… ::insert disgust here::  In one of his many discussions he made an exclamation about exclamation marks.

He had begun his lesson simply enough. A period is the punctuation put at the end of a statement.  In fact, almost every sentence you will right in your life will end in a period. Got it. The period is the 99%. Too soon for a political joke?

A question mark does what? Why it marks a question. Well, now that is just a handy thing to know too. And then came the exclamation mark.

Teacher: “The exclamation mark is the most dramatic punctuation mark you can use. It should only be used in extremely limited circumstances when a simple period cannot express the amount of excitement the statement conveys. In fact, the exclamation mark should be used so rarely you should only use three of them your entire life.”

Today I made a disastrous error, one that will indefinitely shape the rest of my life.  Today I used two of my exclamation marks…

I know right! You are probably perplexed and shocked right now but when the initial denial wears off the only question left is how did I use both in just one short day.  It was not in a worthy statement such as Paul Revere’s “the British are coming [exclamation]”  Although I am fairly certain he said that more than thrice that night and hope he chose the exclamations more wisely than I. I used 2 of my 3 exclamations in a simple email.  “Thanks for your help [exclamation] [exclamation] Have a happy Thanksgiving.” Before I could stop myself the sent button was hit and I had lost 2 of my 3 exclamation marks.  To make matters worse, I used them both on the same irrelevant sentence.  I had not even used them on Thanksgiving but the much lesser sentence before.

Just as Batman knew his cause, I vowed then to only use my last exclamation mark for a worthy sentence.  I decided that I should figure out the phrases that I would be satisfied in using my final exclamation mark with and have narrowed them down to the following is the list I have narrowed it down to:

It’s a boy!

It’s a girl!

It’s a non-gender specific child and we still love you!

I’d like to buy a vowel!

Stop!

I am going to Disney World!

I object!

AHHH (while in a tunnel)!

Someone save that cat (cat can be replaced with any other adorable animal except for monkeys. Except for monkeys)!

Zombies!

Taxi!

Hallellujah!

Amen!

I don’t want your money!

The sky is falling!

Look in the sky!

This song is my jam!

I just want to dance!

There is a snake in my boots!

How about dem Bears!

Adult swim!

Move that bus!

No wire hangers!

Leggo my Eggo!

I said no ketchup on my hotdog!

Dibs!

For freedom!

Open the gate!

Is that a fanny pack!

Justin Bieber!

That PB and J sandwich was awesome!

Those are my thoughts but what about you.  If you only had one exclamation mark left, what would statement would you come up with to use it on?

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