Bring in the Calvary

When I decided to celebrate Multiple Personality Day, I did not realize how dark a topic it truly was.  Reading through the facts surrounding the symptoms, causes, treatment, and effects of Multiple Personality Disorder, I realized that it was not really anything to poke fun at or to enjoy.  This is not the type of disease that anyone would wear proudly on their chest.  Shows like United States of Tara have tried to open up a dialogue about the topic in a relatively safe environment but the reality is that it is still a very dark and difficult condition to live with.  It was at that moment that I decided not to dwell much on the topic of Multiple Personality Disorder which is now technically known as dissociative identity disorder.  I do invite you to read about this disorder if you want to learn about it and what can be done for people with this condition.

Even though I decided not to cover much of this disorder directly in my blog, I still had an idea for a video and could not pass up the chance to use a new software I found online (yay for 15 day free trials!).  My idea was simple.  What if a normal guy (whose interests, for anyone that has ever gone into the online dating scene, seem to match literally every other person alive) was plagued by an internal battle caused by his alter egos.  Take a look at his journey.

I should include the disclaimer that the character of Martin was probably based off of me minus the multiple personalities… oh and the high paying lawyer job part.  I have never read the Twilight series and have yet to see the entire first movie in its entirety.  In fact all of the arguments that the alter egos made were arguments that I copy and pasted from numerous blogs and posts across the internet.  Thank you internet and the quality education you provide.

A holiday that is a big deal in Chicago, my home town, but apparently no one else on the planet has ever heard of is Casimir Pulaski Day.  He is so non-well known that even my blog editing software thinks it is a mispelling.  It suggests I change his name to cashmere or casing (also known as the outermost covering of a tire). I promise all of my readers that Casimir Pulaski is a real person and his holiday is a real thing.  Rather than roll out the chalk board and give a history lesson complete with pop quiz, I decided there was a much better way to introduce you to a man that has a major street in Chicago named after him and a statue of him just a block from where the President sleeps (in Freedom Plaza).  Now let me introduce you to Casimir Pulaski in the best way I know how…

10 Reasons You Should Invite Casimir Pulaski To Your Birthday Party

  1. He thinks on his feet behind enemy lines- handy if any groups of Guidos show up.  Cornered in a monastery in Poland, he held off insurmountable forces for two weeks before being captured by the Russians.  They forced him to vow never to fight against them in exchange for his freedom.  Of course as soon as they released him, he rejoined the fight and gave them literal hell for four years following their capture of the monastery.
  2. He has as many exit clauses as Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean in case you can not shake that creepy person that has been hitting on you.  Once when falsely accused of trying to kidnap the King of Poland and threatened to be put to death, he escaped the country without missing a beat.
  3. He can give an inspiration speech to rally everyone to find their second wind.  When arriving in America, he announced, “I came here, where freedom is being defended to serve it and to live or die for it.”  I am pretty sure I heard this same speech in The Warrior.
  4. He is always willing to take one for the team and jump on any grenades if need be.  He saved George Washington’s life by leading a desperate cavalry charge directly at the enemy to buy Washington enough time to escape.  If you love Sinbad for just saving the President’s son, you have got to love this guy.
  5. He is always willing to be the designated driver as long as you do not mind riding a horse.  He was renown for his ability to lead a horse and is known as the “father of the American calvary.”
  6. He never hesitates to pick up the tab.  When Congress did not have the money to fund his men, Pulaski used his own money to fund the “Pulaski Calvary Legion” which even deserters and prisoners were allowed to join.
  7. He has staying power.  When he finally was killed in battle, it took a full grape    shot to take him down, and he held on four two days after it.
  8. He has the hook up.  Some say he was buried at sea, others say he was buried in Greenwich Plantation, and others still say he is teaming up with Tupac on an album dropping this July.  Snoop Dogg and Moby have even played at his parties.
  9. He gets the invite to all the best parties.  George Washington used to use his name as a “Challenge-and-password” by using the call and answer- Query: Pulaski; Response: Poland.
  10. He will not hurt any of your background checks or clearances (this one is more for the governmental worker crowd than anyone else).  Casimir was the 7th person ever to be named an honorary US citizen in 2009.  This means you do not have to report a foreign contact to your agencies!

One final fun tidbit of knowledge for March 5th (and it is not that my rent was due this morning), this is the day that is known for the invention of the parachute by Leonardo Da Vinci.  Joseph W Kittinger Jr holds the record for the highest parachute jump.  He jumped from 19.47 miles (286 football fields) in the air.  In free fall, he reached speeds of 614 miles per hour in his 4 minute, 36 second fall and when his glove depressurized his hand expanded to twice its normal size.  Felix Baumgartner is currently scheduled to attempt to beat his record by jumping from 120,000 feet all of which is sponsored by Red Bull… talk about giving you wings.

CHICAGO FACT NUMBER 2:

Willis Tower, formerly known as the Sears Tower, stands as the tallest building in the US at 1450 feet.  That is one heck of a first step. If that does not make you scared of heights, maybe you should try a real high in the sky challenge.

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2 Comments

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  1. That video is so creepy I couldn’t even get halfway through it. Don’t get me wrong… I cracked up, especially when I read about your source material, but the voices sort of freaked me out.

    I enjoyed learning about Casimir, too, especially as someone who is predominately Polish.

    I look forward to reading your next post. Props if it appears before my bedtime.

  2. “Don’t tell me that you like Thai food and expect me to think you are fascinating. Every person on the planet likes Thai food.”

    ^^^ what??? that is so not true!

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