Snowman Burning Day!!!

We didn’t start the fire… Frosty the Snowman did, and it is time to hold him and his magical top hat responsible.

SNOWMAN BURNING DAY!!!

First an apology.  There have been problems at my building with my internet (and cable connection) and this has caused me to miss two blog posts.  As an offering for missing Wyatt Earp‘s Birthday, let me entertain you with this haiku I have written.  In case you did not know, a haiku is a three line Japanese poem that has 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second line, and 5 in the third line.  I am sure there are other rules, but I am lazy and intend completely and blatantly ignore the rest of them.

Wyatt Earp you rock

The west was won by you

Let’s hang out some time

If you enjoyed that poem, buckle up because one of these days, I may go full English major on you and drop some iambic pentameter on this hood.

Today is one of those days that should break the writer’s block of even Shakespeare who has not written anything in quite a long time… There are so many crazy holidays that fall on March 20th it might even be the zaniest day of the month.  It is Alien Abduction Day, National Proposal Day, National Meat Out Day, Snowman Burning Day, Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day, and it is a Tuesday.  Talk about crazy.  Let’s spend a few minutes looking at each of these holidays in no particular order.

Alien Abduction Day

The day I understood what the television show title Third Rock from the Sun meant was the day that I finally felt I had arrived at adulthood.  In case you were wondering, the show title means Earth since we are the third planet from the sun.  What does this have to do with alien abductions?  Absolutely nothing.  I have decided not to celebrate this holiday because if I ever run for political office I feel like celebrating a holiday on illegal alien abduction may be used against me.
In case you do not aspire to political office and decided to cast your eyes to the falling skies, I will not leave you hanging as there are plenty of examples of ways to celebrate your very own alien abduction.  If my blog has gone universal, I would like to also take this time to tell the aliens that I am a very boring test subject, and there are a lot better humans to investigate if they are ever in my neighborhood even if I do seem attractive on paper.
National Proposal Day
Do you ever wonder if prospective grooms (and I guess prospective brides these days) consider wearing knee pads when they drop down to one knee?  A little comfort can go a long way.  Why do people drop to one knee for a proposal of marriage?  I did some research and like the plural of Platypus there is no set answer.  Some say it heralds back to the positioning that knights would take when accepting a gift.  Others say it is because it places you at the complete mercy of the person you are in front of placing your vulnerable heart and life in their hands.  One source said it was so that the ring properly blings in the light.  Of course if they knew my salary, they would need to add more light, lots more light, to get the proper bling.  Is bling even a verb?  Here are my five tips for a successful proposal.
  1. If the proposal is supposed to be a surprise, you probably should not tag your prospective spouse in the Facebook status.  “About to pop the big question – with Kate BeckinsaleAlso, I would recommend not tagging yourself in at Jared’s on Foursquare.  This things have a way of getting around.
  2. If you ask the father for his daughter’s hand in marriage, make sure you get her name right.
  3. If you do decide to do a proposal on the beach, make sure you time high tide correctly.
  4. While you can sometimes forget your wallet when going out on a date, this is probably not a good time to also forget the ring.
  5. Don’t mention the tax write off benefits as the first reason you want to get married.  (Although if anyone is interested, it is a pretty nice write off)
And here are four proposal videos.  One of this would have totally been me if this guy had not beaten me to it first.  Comment if you can guess which one.  (Also in order to save my man card, one of these four proposal videos is actually of a monster truck.  Man Card Saved)

National Meat Out Day

This is actually a holiday that tries to convince people to give up meat and switch to a lifestyle of purely vegetables, fruits, and grains.  I tried to celebrate this holiday.  For breakfast all I had was a blueberry donut, but by the time lunch came around, I accidentally ate chicken in my Chicken Alfredo frozen meal.  How was I supposed to know it had chicken?  I guess Meat Out Day was not for me this time.  I will try again next year.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor

This holiday is to celebrate the one and only Mr. Rogers on the day of his birth.  The website Fredrogers.org has a lot of pictures of great neighbor candidates but they also suggest many ways to celebrate this holiday.

  •  Smile – check
  •  Plant a tree – Bonsai tree check
  •  Say “Thank You” – Thanks for reading my blog today
  •  Sort and recycle glass, newspapers, plastic and cardboard  – I would have sorted through them all but they are already conveniently stored in the trash can together for safe keeping.
  •  Give the gift of laughter: clip cartoons, share funny stories – See blog
  •  Offer to take the shopping cart back for someone loading his or her car – You may even be able to sneak a couple oreos out of their bags when they aren’t looking.
  •  Shop with reusable bags – I do not know why my neighbors care what type of bags I use but okay
  •  Make a donation to your favorite non-profit – The make sure I still eat dinner fund is my favorite non-profit for the day
  •  Save throw-aways (egg cartons, ribbons, etc.) for art projects – Now I have an excuse for why my apartment is always kind of messy #mEssyChef
  •  Share a hug – Any takers?
  •  Be a good friend by just listening – You are more than welcome to share in the comments.  I will listen… whether I read them or not is another story.
  •  Reuse cardboard boxes to store toys and supplies – Where else would I keep my plastic army men collection?
  •  Volunteer at a senior center – Does working in HR count?
  •  Pay someone a compliment – You, yes you, look great today
  •  Visit your local library for story time, crafts, songs and games – Who knew playing solitaire in a public place could make me so many friends.
The site also recommended wearing a sweater in honor of him.  This is a record setting March in terms of temperature so I think I will leave the sweaters in the closet.
Tuesday
This is the third day of the week and normally falls after Monday.  They serve Chili in the cafeteria.  Go Tuesday!
SNOWMAN BURNING DAY
The much awaited moment is here.  Snowman Burning Day!  A holiday that is meant to wave goodbye to winter and welcome spring.  Since spring did not realize that Snowman Burning Day was not until the 20th and showed up around February 1st, I had to improvise a little bit on my own celebration.  I also got to thinking… What inspired people to light a snowman on fire?  Sure, it would cause it to melt and I guess this could be symbolic of ushering in spring.  But really it was at though mobs of people were attacking snowmen and lighting them on fire.  What could a snowman have done to incite such brutal attacks?
Things a Snowman Could Have Done To Incite A Riot
              1. Tracked water in to the house
              2. Had its eyes placed so that he constantly looked at your girlfriend funny
              3. Did not show up to your birthday party… in August… in Texas
              4. Left a ring around the bathtub
              5. Was not a jolly, happy soul
              6. Practiced witch craft.  Think about it… a snowman’s arms would float as they are made of wood, I have never heard one say the Lord’s prayer, and if you have a dog nearby, it could have spots all over!
              7. He was screen looking the last time the two of you played Halo
Whatever a snowman did to start the riot, once a riot starts a snowman is pretty defenseless and most do end up lit on fire.  In honor of the holiday, I too lit a snowman on fire.  There is no way to describe it other than to click below and enjoy!  Woooooo!

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