Category: The Challenge

My blog is apparently catching on as it appears that everyone is starting to join in on the celebrations with so many people joining in on International Women’s Day.  Happy International Women’s Day!  I could not find my red lipstick today, but I hope that everyone found their own way to celebrate this important holiday.
For me, I made a point to wish every woman I spoke with today a Happy International Women’s Day.  This simple gesture lead to an unexpected yet totally expected outcome, some debate and some learning.  First, the question was what this day was specifically for- celebrate women everywhere day or celebrate women that are international.  But before that question could be answered, you have to decide what it means to be international and a woman.  International means some thing that is related to at least 2 countries.  For women, does this mean any woman that is from one country and at least currently residing in another country?  This would make the foreign exchange student that stayed with you during high school an international woman (assuming they were a woman of course).  Or does someone have to share dual citizenship to be considered international?  Maybe it is much simpler than that.  Maybe a person just needs to live somewhere but have an accent from somewhere else to be international.  This would make that guy at work, who always uses a fake British accent whenever the new temp from payroll comes around in an attempt to woo her, international.  The bigger question of what makes a woman is one that is for someone else to tackle in their blog.
The women that read my blog are probably cringing at this point because we all know that this is a holiday meant to mark the great steps forward that women as a group and as individuals have made.  Of course, there are still many improvements that can be made on a global stage which is why it is still important to celebrate days like today.
To add to the debate of today, I discovered a major difference between men and women.  I grabbed a quick breakfast with two girls I work with, G and O.  While waiting for the elevator, a woman walked by with a nice pair of shoes.  The girls commented on the shoes and not wanting to be left out of the conversation I too looked at the shoes.  The girls then asked me if I knew who it was.  I realized at that moment that by looking at her shoes, I had completely ignored who the person was.  I never once looked at her face.  This led me to the only possible conclusion that I could draw.  Men are faced with a daily decision whenever they meet a woman.  It is not whether to be chivalrous or chauvinistic (NSFW).  The choice is much more pure than that.  The choice is to look at her face or her shoes because clearly a man cannot do both.  Science has shown that men are not as good at multitasking (probably NSFW) as women.  O realized that it must be true.  This is why the President’s daughter in The American President tells him to comment on her shoes!  So girls, if you want a guy to realize that you are up here and not down there, maybe you should stop wearing such flashy shoes.  Just a thought!
I decided to bust out the guitar and play a little song dedicated to all the women out there today.  Enjoy!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79wWVboOCXs&feature=youtu.be]
Today was also Be Nasty Day, a day that is entirely devoted to just being cruel to people.  I considered celebrating this holiday too until I realized that I work mostly with girls.  With today being International Women’s Day, I do not know if I would have made it to my next blog post if I was mean to them on their day.  To make up for it, I did think some pretty mean thoughts of the guy that bumped me on the metro.  Take that guy on the metro!

I have delayed writing this post for about as long as I can and still have any hope of getting it done by midnight.  The holidays for today are not great so I am using it as a bit of a rest day.  No video just a simple post.  I promise I will be back to everything with tomorrow’s post from more links to videos.  I currently have 39 minutes left in the day and these are the first words I have written on any of the holidays for today.  And the time starts…. NOW!
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Today was World Math Day.  At first, I thought it was a day dedicated to doing math problems, enhancing your memory of the times tables, and remembering what it meant to take the derivative of something.  In fact as of 6 o clock this afternoon, my boss who has heard of my blog was quizzing me on the derivative or what not of (X^2+3).  I was actually pretty impressed with what my grown up self remembered from the high school corners of my memories of math classes (before to the despair of my parents, I turned my back on science, math, and well-paying jobs to become an English major).
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But I was completely wrong about what World Math Day meant.  World Math Day was not about AP classes, aging text books, or learning that multiplying anything by 0 equals 0.  World Math Day was a challenge and an adventure that world educators had created to keep learning exciting for new generations.  The premise is simple.  World Math Day is one of the days of the World Education Games.  The World Education Games consist of World Spelling Day, World Math Day, and World Science Day.   The games are played across the world and start as soon as a country hits March 6th and end as soon as a country hits March 8th.  Student’s have to answer as many questions as they can in the different topic areas.  The student with the most correct answers in the time frame is the winner.  As of right now, there have been 278,638,000 correct math answers given today.
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You would imagine that the prize must be pretty great to convince kids from around the world to give up 48 hours of their lives to basically study.  The absolute winner in each age group gets a gold medal.  The second place winner?  More minted gold medals and a commemorative certificate.   So there are 11 students in each age group that have the chance to win any prize of merit.  Many others will receive participation certificates, but I imagine the real allure of this competition is seeing how you stack up against students around the world.  I feel like in school we always used to question our math teachers, “When would I ever need to know how to do long division in the real world?  I can always just use a calculator.”  This seems like such a great way to encourage kids to learn their math skills if only to win out in this competition.  Time to get excited about education again.  It may not have any practical value, but after not having wanted to do math on my own without a calculator for about 4 years, I definitely considered pretending to be a 14 year old so I could enter the competition for this year.  World Math Day: Not at all what I thought the day was about but this way is probably even better.
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Today is also cereal day.  I did not eat a lot of cereal but I did have one marshmallow out of a box of Lucky Charms.  Growing up, my family always had healthy, whole grain cereal.  We did not drink pop but carbonated seltzer water.  My mother even made sure that we even had special ketchup with less corn syrup in it.  The only time I would really get to eat junk food was when I visited my friends.  It was not my house that I was introduced to Lucky Charms but at a friends while playing the original Twisted Metal.  The eating of Lucky Charms was introduced to me in one way: put them all in a bowl, add no milk, pick out the marshmallows, dump the cereal back.  To this day I “think” the grain portion of Lucky Charms is not good tasting at all.  Of course when I actually eat the grain portion, I find that it is not bad at all even if it is not as good as the colorful chunks of sugar.  In college with the healthy eating methods of my home behind me, my friends and I took sight of one of the dorm sized containers of Lucky Charms.  I guess we were determined to put on our Freshman 15 in one meal as we set out to eat the entire container of Lucky Charms.  Too many bowls later we were finished.

I do not know if it is because it is delicious or because it is the only cereal that is associated with any memories from my child hood, but Lucky Charms are easily my favorite.
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Today is also Learn What Your Name Means Day.  I already know what my name means.  It means Gift from God.  My parents had it framed in a picture that hung in my bedroom throughout my childhood.  Really Mom and Dad, tell me how you really feel about me.  Just because I know what my name actually means, does not mean that I wanted to skip out on enjoying Learn What Your Name Means Day.  From my experience, regular dictionaries take decades to change or add new words.  There is only one dictionary I know that is constantly changing and updating.  For this name definition, we have to take this to the streets.
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Urbandictionary.com has a couple of definitions for my name.

1. “a sexy guy that liked the women (NSFW) and has a nice tooth brush” – I did just buy an electric toothbrush.  It even beeps every 30 seconds so you can move to a different area of your mouth.
2. “An attractive, smooth-talking, charming young man.  When you’re with him, he makes you feel like a princess; when you’re not, you know he is making another girl feel the same and not even thinking of you” – Wow.  Urbandictionary putting me on blast. Hate the player not the game.
3. “From the Latin term “Awesomus”, meaning “Awesome” or “Rad”” – nailed it.
4. “Can sometimes be misconstrued as having a big ego or being over confident. Commonly a Leo” – My birthday is in August, and I have no idea where it gets that big ego thing.  I think we should cross out this definition and just stick with the last one.  It is much more accurate.

And finally, Urbandictionary has a word of caution to all of the ladies out there…
5.  “a super hot sexy awesome guy that totally got away. Someone you will never get over.” – They also use this one in a sentence.  “[Messychef], I will always love you and want you back. I only wish I would have told you.”   You have all been warned.
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Whoops.  No more time.  Posted!

Today I found out that sitting is bad for you.  Even if you exercise afterwards, you cannot counteract the bad effects of sitting on your body as they slowly add up.  I was going to attempt to write this entire blog post standing up but then I thought better of it.  I guess I will just have to risk my life to bring you tonight’s post!
There is one thing that Batman never understood but Mr. Freeze got right.  Sometimes freezing things is the best way.  While I would suggest stopping at ice cubes and select frozen foods and not trying to freeze entire cities with the people still in them like Mr. Freeze, this has got to be a holiday created in part just for him.  Happy Frozen Food Day, Mr. Freeze.
When I think of how frozen food was when I was a kid, my mind immediately goes to hearing that cheesy tune followed by bursting in to a head long sprint toward the ice cream truck no matter how far away it was.  When you were chasing down the ice cream truck, normal rules no longer applied to you.  If you were required to stay within eye range of your parents, you could now put entire houses in between you and your mother.  If you had to look both ways before you crossed a busy street, the cars would now screech on their brakes to echo the fanfare of your quest for sugar.  If you were too deathly ill to go to school, you suddenly were stronger than Superman on steroids (which would have to be swallowed since normal needles could not pierce his skin) and could carry your entire sick bed with you if that is what it took to reach the promise land.
When I think of frozen food now, I no longer think I am above the law or start doing somersaults in the freezer section of my grocery store, but I do still find some deep pleasure in walking through the magical aisles of prepared, just reheat food as though the greatest food items are contained behind the glass walls.  Some of the most delicious foods still come in the frozen food section, but there are healthy alternatives now too.  Living as a bachelor in DC, I know that I probably keep the frozen vegetable market in business because they are usable so much longer than their fresh food section cousins.
Before food could be frozen, everything was heavily salted to help it last longer.  Thankfully, Clarence Birdseye (I love his name) in 1924 developed the quick freezing technique that we use today.  Coupled with the invention of the refrigerator (or dry ice for the ice cream man) the era of frozen food was born.  As TV dinners began to replace Mom’s Family Tradition Pot Roast, the world of food entered yet a new dimension, the final frontier.  Still one of the problems with many frozen foods today is the salt content as it is very high.  Am I mistaken or wasn’t it the idea of freezing food that was supposed to reduce the use of salt on food?
Despite the problems, there are so many perks to frozen food including the easiness of grabbing an entire meal out of the freezer for lunch has saved me from being late on more days than I would care to relate.  You can even have food made elsewhere in the world shipped directly to you just waiting to be reheated and enjoyed.  Frozen food is here to stay and that is a good thing.  I am Matt, and I support this message.
In honor of the holiday, I tried to only eat frozen foods and liquids throughout the day.  Take a look at how my meals went…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGiS8X9oCIg&feature=youtu.be]
Today is another holiday.  It is also Unique Name’s Day.  There is no one that knows unique names like celebrities…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ_zo_gBFyM&feature=youtu.be]
Why do celebrities really choose these names?  I have no clue.  I do not think I have ever gone somewhere without someone saying “Oh I know another ___.”  Clearly, I am on Team Normal Name and I kind of like it that way.

When I decided to celebrate Multiple Personality Day, I did not realize how dark a topic it truly was.  Reading through the facts surrounding the symptoms, causes, treatment, and effects of Multiple Personality Disorder, I realized that it was not really anything to poke fun at or to enjoy.  This is not the type of disease that anyone would wear proudly on their chest.  Shows like United States of Tara have tried to open up a dialogue about the topic in a relatively safe environment but the reality is that it is still a very dark and difficult condition to live with.  It was at that moment that I decided not to dwell much on the topic of Multiple Personality Disorder which is now technically known as dissociative identity disorder.  I do invite you to read about this disorder if you want to learn about it and what can be done for people with this condition.
Even though I decided not to cover much of this disorder directly in my blog, I still had an idea for a video and could not pass up the chance to use a new software I found online (yay for 15 day free trials!).  My idea was simple.  What if a normal guy (whose interests, for anyone that has ever gone into the online dating scene, seem to match literally every other person alive) was plagued by an internal battle caused by his alter egos.  Take a look at his journey.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXaSTfTLq-E]
I should include the disclaimer that the character of Martin was probably based off of me minus the multiple personalities… oh and the high paying lawyer job part.  I have never read the Twilight series and have yet to see the entire first movie in its entirety.  In fact all of the arguments that the alter egos made were arguments that I copy and pasted from numerous blogs and posts across the internet.  Thank you internet and the quality education you provide.
A holiday that is a big deal in Chicago, my home town, but apparently no one else on the planet has ever heard of is Casimir Pulaski Day.  He is so non-well known that even my blog editing software thinks it is a mispelling.  It suggests I change his name to cashmere or casing (also known as the outermost covering of a tire). I promise all of my readers that Casimir Pulaski is a real person and his holiday is a real thing.  Rather than roll out the chalk board and give a history lesson complete with pop quiz, I decided there was a much better way to introduce you to a man that has a major street in Chicago named after him and a statue of him just a block from where the President sleeps (in Freedom Plaza).  Now let me introduce you to Casimir Pulaski in the best way I know how…
10 Reasons You Should Invite Casimir Pulaski To Your Birthday Party

1. He thinks on his feet behind enemy lines- handy if any groups of Guidos show up.  Cornered in a monastery in Poland, he held off insurmountable forces for two weeks before being captured by the Russians.  They forced him to vow never to fight against them in exchange for his freedom.  Of course as soon as they released him, he rejoined the fight and gave them literal hell for four years following their capture of the monastery.
2. He has as many exit clauses as Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean in case you can not shake that creepy person that has been hitting on you.  Once when falsely accused of trying to kidnap the King of Poland and threatened to be put to death, he escaped the country without missing a beat.
3. He can give an inspiration speech to rally everyone to find their second wind.  When arriving in America, he announced, “I came here, where freedom is being defended to serve it and to live or die for it.”  I am pretty sure I heard this same speech in The Warrior.
4. He is always willing to take one for the team and jump on any grenades if need be.  He saved George Washington’s life by leading a desperate cavalry charge directly at the enemy to buy Washington enough time to escape.  If you love Sinbad for just saving the President’s son, you have got to love this guy.
5. He is always willing to be the designated driver as long as you do not mind riding a horse.  He was renown for his ability to lead a horse and is known as the “father of the American calvary.”
6. He never hesitates to pick up the tab.  When Congress did not have the money to fund his men, Pulaski used his own money to fund the “Pulaski Calvary Legion” which even deserters and prisoners were allowed to join.
7. He has staying power.  When he finally was killed in battle, it took a full grape    shot to take him down, and he held on four two days after it.
8. He has the hook up.  Some say he was buried at sea, others say he was buried in Greenwich Plantation, and others still say he is teaming up with Tupac on an album dropping this July.  Snoop Dogg and Moby have even played at his parties.
9. He gets the invite to all the best parties.  George Washington used to use his name as a “Challenge-and-password” by using the call and answer- Query: Pulaski; Response: Poland.
10. He will not hurt any of your background checks or clearances (this one is more for the governmental worker crowd than anyone else).  Casimir was the 7th person ever to be named an honorary US citizen in 2009.  This means you do not have to report a foreign contact to your agencies!

One final fun tidbit of knowledge for March 5th (and it is not that my rent was due this morning), this is the day that is known for the invention of the parachute by Leonardo Da Vinci.  Joseph W Kittinger Jr holds the record for the highest parachute jump.  He jumped from 19.47 miles (286 football fields) in the air.  In free fall, he reached speeds of 614 miles per hour in his 4 minute, 36 second fall and when his glove depressurized his hand expanded to twice its normal size.  Felix Baumgartner is currently scheduled to attempt to beat his record by jumping from 120,000 feet all of which is sponsored by Red Bull… talk about giving you wings.
CHICAGO FACT NUMBER 2:
Willis Tower, formerly known as the Sears Tower, stands as the tallest building in the US at 1450 feet.  That is one heck of a first step. If that does not make you scared of heights, maybe you should try a real high in the sky challenge.

This weekend I went to Medieval Madness in Old Town, Alexandria, which is at its most basic a medieval themed dinner theater with plenty of food (ravioli and apple turn overs galore), mostly good people, and some knightly martial arts.  The theme for this Saturday’s show was a witch hunt.  Having celebrated Witch Hysteria Day just a few days prior, I was even happier that I had put myself through the witch trials already as those still suspected of being one were threatened to be killed. I definitely felt like at that moment my life had come full circle.
Now for the real reason you are here today… Who knew a company named Bergen Toy and Novelty Company could know us all so well?  Bergen took the already existing idea of the metal painted army men and put them in a more user-friendly, cost effective way- the plastic army man.  Sure, today’s national holiday is technically “Toy Soldier Day,” but to me that means just one type of toy soldier, the plastic army men.
I am about to get on my soap box for a minute.  Please hang with me.  When I was a kid, we had video games and television but we were still required to find creative ways to play.  Today our kids do not know what it means to find joy in a simple stick they found in the backyard.  Now a days, kids are resorting to weirder and weirder (Warning: This link contains profanity.  Do not play it with your boss, priest or innocent children nearby) ways of having fun.  When I was a kid, a small army of plastic, unmoving soldiers was enough to keep my friends and I occupied for hours.
Plastic Army Men have not changed much since rolling out in 1938.  However, they did have a small weapons upgrade after World War II.  I worry what the weapons upgrade if there was ever a World War III would look like.  While I never caught my army men running any operations on their own, I know that my child hood would not have been the same without them.  On this special holiday, I would like to thank them for the sacrifice they have given to serve their country’s children.
I checked to see if there were any set rules for playing with army men, but it appears that everyone is forced to mostly creatively come up with the rules themselves.  I used to line them up against my friends as we threw marbles at each other.  The last army man standing won.  Other people simply blow them up or created strangely detailed stories of the beige and green men’s campaigns.  Plastic army men have reached such a cult status that they even the home and garden community is taking notice.  While everyone has a different opinion on how army men can be enjoyed, I think we all can agree to support our real army and military men and women.  Go U – S – A!
To celebrate this holiday, I decided to do nothing but play with plastic army men for the entire day.  In case you want to relive some of my adventures, you can find your own plastic army men in the party favor section of Walmart or many other stores.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtQfZXpbOsM&feature=youtu.be]
A SPECIAL NOTE:
Today, March 4th, is the 175th birthday of my beloved city of Chicago.  In honor of this occasion, I have decided to include one fact about Chicago in each of my posts for the entire week.
Fact number 1: Chicago, nicknamed the The Windy City, the City of Big Shoulders, the Second City, and The City That Works, has over 40 million people visit each year.  This is on top of the nearly 10 million people that already live in the Chicago land area across three states (Indiana, Wisconsin, Illinois) making Chicago the 28th largest metropolitan area in the world.  The city of Chicago only being 237 square miles large.  If the 10 million people living in the area visited at once, there would be about 42194 people per mile. (Whoops, I think that may have been like 12 facts molded in to one.  My bad)

Today is the day for a very famous and inspiring song to each and every one of us.  I was an English major in school and want to go through the first couple of lines to show the great meaning they express.  “Happy birthday to you.”  This wishes a very merry birthday to the recipient of the song. The second line is “Happy birthday to you.”  Like New York City, it is a line so nice they used it twice.  The third line is a small twist on a familiar theme “Happy birthday dear Alexander Graham Bell,” and then “Happy birthday to you!”  On this day some 165 years ago, Alexander Graham Bell was being born in Edinburgh, Scotland.  If he had just been born 29 years later, his parents may have been able to call all of their relatives instead of filling out all of those annoying letters.  The day that Alexander Graham Bell is most famous for is just a few days later in the month of March, March 10, 1876.  On this fateful day, he uttered the first words ever transmitted verbally over a wire. “Mr Watson – Come here – I want to see you.”  I probably would have picked something slightly more interesting as the first words ever transmitted over a telephone.  Perhaps I would have said, “Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions?”  That would have at least gotten people thinking.
When researching Alexander Graham Bell for this post, I found out something I had never known about him.  His mother started losing her hearing when he was just 12.  His father was one of the foremost at the time in teaching deaf mutes to communicate and Alexander spent time himself instructing the instructors at schools of the blind like modern day Horace Mann School for the Deaf.  Because of his work with the deaf, I decided to try a little sign language myself.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jN1dx3IKS1E&feature=youtu.be]
Today is also what I am dubbing “National” National Anthem Day.  When Francis Scott Key wrote the poem “Defence of Fort Henry,” he had no idea that when set to music his poem would become a beacon of hope for generations to come.  I am pretty sure this day is supposed to highlight all national anthems, but just like I usually ignore the TV when the Canadian national anthem is played during All-Star games (no offense Canada just not my cup of maple syrup), the only one I wanted to talk about was the one for the country I call home.
I was talking to A the other day and he said that American’s are pretty lazy.  Saying hello to someone went from “Hello.  How are you?” to “How’s it going?” to “What’s Up?” to “Wassup” to “Yo” to my all time favorite the all knowing head nod.  Well, would you expect any different from us with our National Anthem?  Did you know its actually four verses long?  The entire poem actually has some pretty powerful lines.  If you do nothing else on this “National” National Anthem Day, check out the full Star Spangled Banner.
Living in DC, I have the privilege of going to the American History Museum and seeing the actual flag that inspired the anthem at any time.  I went there yesterday with my camera phone in tow.  Photography is not allowed once you walk in to the exhibit but I am a rebel.  For full disclosure, I have to admit that my heart was racing the whole time.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBsSeDTbMDs&feature=youtu.be]
Afterwards to make up for it, I decided to contribute some funds to the museum in one of those glass containers near the entrance.
Money spent for March: $2

:::::::::::::::::BONUS HOLIDAY ALERT:::::::::::::::::::

Every once in a while that it comes to my attention that a holiday has been over looked that is so legendary, so momentous, so delightful that it is a tragedy that it was not included in the original line up.  I welcome anyone and everyone letting me know of a holiday that they think I should celebrate.  This is one of those such holidays- National Platypus Day!

At first like many of you are now, I was skeptical.  But the platypus is arguable the greatest animal that not even in a morphine induced dream could Darwin have imagined.  Here are five reasons why you should take time today to either pet a platypus, buy a platypus or at the very least stand at a random intersection and scream the word “platypus”.

1. Platypus are one of the few mammals that give birth to eggs.  This is eggzactly what I am talking about.  Awesome!
2. This animal is so awesome that scientists cannot even agree on what to call a group of them… Platypuses or Platypus.
3. Platypuses store extra fat in their tails.  Kim Kardashian would be proud.
4. The male Platypus produce poison that is strong enough to kill some animals like a dog.
5. Platypuses can sense changes in electrical current and use this to hunt by moving their head from side to side.

If all of this was not enough to convince you to love this creature, there may be no hope for you yet.  Platypuses live to be as old as 17 so they have plenty of time to win you over.
Oh before I forget, one of my favorite TV shows featured a platypus in the last episode.  If you got a second, enjoy below.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X16K6YyLBTc&feature=youtu.be]

Theodore Geisel, the man known as Seuss
Rode in to town, not in a caboose.
His pen was his sword,
A new type of bard
In to the hearts of all children, he wrote and he wrote
Then to the hearts of their children, without missing a note.

While I may be no Dr. Seuss, you get the idea.  He was the man that made us think we all could be poets by just rhyming one word with another.  “Today I ate an orange.  Tomorrow I will eat a… wait… what rhymes with orange?”  He published 46 children’s books from Horton Hears a Who to Green Eggs and Ham to Horton Hatches an Egg.  Truthfully, Horton is the busiest elephant since Dumbo. Dr. Seuss was simply a hero among men as the world’s first “nerd” that was not afraid to throw a raging party or adult word here and there.
How did it all start? 1954 was the year.  Legend has it that Geisel’s publisher read a report on illiteracy among children due to boring books.  He decided to challenge Geisel to write a book kids would want to read using only 250 words.  Using 30 words less, the world was given The Cat in the Hat.  As if this was not enough, the next challenge was for 50 words or less (for perspective, there are 102,092 words in the first book of the Hunger Games Trilogy).  The ink on the next book was not even dry, but suddenly like a match struck to a dry forest, the world was ablaze with Seuss fever, Sam I Am.  Dr. Seuss was not afraid to attack the tough issues from racism to eating disorders (Reference: Green Eggs and Ham Tebowing).
It’s fitting that today is also Read Across America day.  According to the US Department of Education and a survey they completed in 2009, the US ranked statistically ahead of only 13 of 33 Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) countries.  While it was virtually tied with a number of the remaining countries, there were still 6 countries whose students could read better than those in America.  Throughout the globe, girls routinely scored better than boys in reading ability.  Come on guys.  Get it together everybody.  It is just like riding a bike.  I wonder what Dr. Seuss would think if he still saw one of the strongest countries in the globe unable to teach its children with the most effectiveness one of the most basic skills in a developed society.  Maybe it would inspire him to write another 46 books with a total of only 25 words.
Reading is very important and I hope for Read Across America Day everyone was able to at least pick up a newspaper or read a couple pages from a book.  I read through nearly 200 pages while finishing off the second book of the Hunger Games Trilogy.  You have my permission to judge me, but they are a pretty enjoyable read.  Reading is so much more about the words on a page.  It is about the ability to transport a person to a new world from the comfort of a chair.  It is about to teach you about a topic that you would have never learned about on your own.  Most importantly, is it about the ability to inspire a new level of dreaming in a person.  Remember, having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card.
Inspiration is where I direct this entry next.  Originally for Friday’s holidays, I was going to sneak in to a book store, record the pages of a Dr. Seuss book, and create a video using different online translators to read from the pages in the book.  After working on this for a few hours and being generally unmoved and bored with my results (view my half finished, choppy attempt here), I wondered not what inspiration Dr. Seuss had inspired in me but what inspiration he had inspired in others.  A quick Youtube search led me to some of these examples.  There are so many more out there.  The question for Dr. Seuss Day and Read Across America day is truthfully how has reading and an author inspired you and what can we do, like Dr. Seuss, to make sure that the same blessing that reading has given us can be passed on to the far too many of us that still cannot read. Try answering that in 50 words or less.
Dr. Seuss Inspired Videos:

• What I originally attempted done much better
• A Girl’s College Thesis.  The first half of this video is pretty awesome.  The second half… well… it is definitely more international.
• A Guy, with what seems to be a fake accent, trying to inspire people under 25 by reciting a Dr. Seuss book at the camera.  Crack on!
• The Dr. Seuss Bible – enough said
• For the sweet tooth in us all, Dr. Seuss Inspired Cakes

Just one year left until next year’s Witch Hysteria Day.  How did everyone celebrate their Witch Hysteria Day?  Thanks again to G for taking my late shift so I could get out of work early to celebrate before the sun set.
I bet you are all wondering how I decided to spend my Witch Hysteria Day.  I attempted to accuse my neighbor’s of being witches but then I realized I would have to actually talk to my neighbors.  That would have been an awful lot of work.   While I then considered reading Macbeth(or the Scottish Play if you are currently standing in a theater) because the play made the famous lines “Double Double Toil and Trouble” famous or going to a toy store and shaking as many Magic Eight Balls as I could find, I knew that simply reading or watching or even meditating on an idea would not have been the right way for me to  celebrate the special occasion.
In Salem, once someone was accused as a witch they had a number of “scientific” ways to tell if that person was a witch.  There were three major tests they would perform.  I decided to put my own spin on their three investigative strategies

• Way Number One: The Spotted Man

First, they would seize the person and strip them down.  They would investigate their body for “mysterious” marks.  If they found any, they would assume that these were the mark of the devil.  I tried to find an angry mob on Craigslist to do the investigation but since I could not find one, a video camera would have to do.  Here is my attempt to find any devilish marks on me.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOR8RG8EP2I]
They do say the camera adds a couple of pounds… well…um… at least there were not any spots.  Trial number one a success!  So far I am not a witch!

• Way Number Two: Floating

The second way that a witch could be tested was my tying their hands behind their back and dropping them in to a large body of water. (To see other fun things to do with water check out this guy’s video.  I know he is sure to be a lot of fun at a party especially if he is doing this wild thing all night) If a person sunk to the bottom of the water, then they were not a witch.  If they rose to the top, then they were deemed a witch and instantly killed.  Sounds a lot like a Kobayashi Maru for you Star Trek fans.  With the weather being so nice yesterday, I decided that the Potomac was not a bad choice to test this theory.  But I could not get the camera equipment set up just right, so I set it up in my apartment.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbXl3-GM1jY&feature=channel]
Well… I think that test was not done exactly correct and the results were kind of in the middle between floating and not floating… we will call it inconclusive.  Still looking great for me on the witch check list.

• Way Number Three: Reciting the Lord’s Prayer

The final way that a witch could be tested would be to have the person recite the Lord’s Prayer from start to finish without messing up.  The theory was that a person with the devil in them could not say the entire prayer without messing up.  The holy words would not come out correctly.  When I read this theory, I wondered how they accounted for differences in versions.  If the victim started reciting the New Translation Bible version of the Lord’s Prayer instead of the King James version would they be deemed a witch?  I grew up on the NIV myself.  While I considered doing the actual Lord’s Prayer which I can recite pretty easily from memory, I realize that I did not even want to tempt the big guy and say the prayer for a jest.  Instead, I decided to recite the next closest thing that I could think of to the Lord’s Prayer.  Below you will see me reciting the “Wingman’s Oath” from the Urban Dictionary translation.  Typically you would say the oath with a copy of the Bro Code under your right hand and hopefully with a friend with as much game as Barney Stinson sitting across from you.  Maybe if you are lucky, he will even give you a personal reading of the Bro Code.  Do not worry.  The word’s will be on the screen for anyone that wants to recite this sacred oath with me.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLovR-hJMe8&feature=channel]
Piece of cake.  Looks like I am pretty safe from being called a witch.  I think my tests were about as scientific as Salem’s and a lot more conclusive.
Now that Witch Hysteria Day is over, time to get ready for Dr Seuss and Read Across the America Day!

 calendar is built around reminding a person of what is important to him or her.  From the very day we are born we are given a special day out of the entire year to celebrate us- our birthday.  From anniversaries to national holidays to the sticker that reminds us what day to get our oil changed in our cars, almost every day of our lives has a special meaning attached to it.  In the constant quest to add more meaning to our lives, days have been assigned holidays that started as sincere as birthdays and have gotten as crazy as National Donut Day (always the first Friday in June).  After celebrating one of these national holidays in February with a couple of friends [Q and A] and some delicious tortilla soup, I made a decision.  For the month of March, I would celebrate all of the crazy, sincere, and down right strange holidays I can without missing a single day.  Q, A and I also decided that I would keep track of the month’s adventures here.  After much deliberation, here are my self-imposed rules for the month.

The Rules

1. I must celebrate at least one of the national holidays that fall on every day of the month
2. Since March is also a “National Month of _____” and has “National Weeks of ______” I am allowed to make up to 3 substitutions.  For example if March 15th is “National Be Really Boring and Do Nothing Interesting or Fun Day,”  I could instead pull the substitution and celebrate “Return Borrowed Books Week.”
3. I can do no more than 5 holidays related to food.  This will force me to do days that involve activities.
4. My overall budget for the month is $100.
5. Everything must be cataloged and recorded on the blog or it never happened